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Drive Faster:
The Dream Is Over
The Dream Is Over can be summed up in three simple words: retch, retch, retch. It's hard to believe that there is a God who would do this to his people. It's unclear what we did to deserve music such as this, but one thing is clear: we as the public cannot allow our children to purchase wussy emo-rock such as this any longer. Parents: go into your teenagers rooms and confiscate any albums by artists with names like Dashboard Confessional, Taking Back Sunday, Alkaline Trio, etc. We will have more of these band names to come, but for now, what you must do is attain your child's copy of The Dream is Over and burn it in front of him or her to prove that you are seriously concerned for the mental well-being of your offspring. This album is guilty of being a typical emo-wuss soundtrack. It has the guitars that are halfway decent only until the grating voice of the recently post-pubescent singer kicks in, and every second feels like an eternity of pain until you reach your breaking point and feel the need to take the disc out of the player so that you can throw it against the wall. Then you feel like that wasn't enough, because a small child could get his/her hands on the shards of broken plastic, at which point you scoop up the remains into a dust pan and dispose of the waste into a trashcan. Next, you must take the liner notes and recycle them as quickly as possible so that no one has the misfortune of reading Drive Fasters embarrassing teenager-esque lyrics. Reading the lyrics is perfectly acceptable when you're getting tanked with some buddies and you want to scoff at someone else's expense, but then you have to ask yourself: "if this album sucks so much, why do you have a copy of it?" So, then you go with the first option, which is to recycle the liner notes. If you want to be an overachiever, save a picture of the bandmates, so you can send it to some thugs you might know in Nutley, NJ. You just have to keep telling yourself, if they don't get dragged and beaten enough for making crappy music, they'll never learn. Look, it's the children who are suffering. It's bad enough that there is one band like Saves the Day out there; let's just do our part in ending the simulacrum of bands that suck in the first place. P.S. I didn't really like this album all that much.
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