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Velcro Mary

 

The Licks: Introducing... EP
[self-released]

One of my good friends taught me that if you dont notice the music while its playing, then its probably not even worth noticing. If nothing grabs you, and you find yourself studying a purchase you made earlier, really looking at it and cradling it and then all of a sudden you come to and remember you put something on earlieryou wonder why you just remembered you were listening to something. Hmmm. Well, unfortunately in this case, I realized I was listening to something too late; I remembered I had put on an album Im supposed to be reviewing, but not until the pause in between tracks peaked around the corner did I trip.

Oops.

Perhaps this is not the best of signs. But, at the same time, I dont think I could find more egotistical, boring music for the times. Thanks for the overly indulged references to how sexy your sexy lead singer is, but man, I dont feel sexed in the least bit now. I feel a bit unsatisfied actually, and these half hard organ solos actually get me a bit agitated. This is faux-passionate music for these extreme times of musical and social confusion that blanket us. Ridiculous, white soul music for kids too stoned to search for new music in their Phish/Rusted Root plaid-postered dorm rooms. Thanks for another escape and reason to burn a mondo doob brah. With guitar solos yanked from the throats of the last few Santana albums and bawked, self-loving, deep-throated vocals, the music actually seems to ache my ears a bit. If you emulate Stevie Wonder so much, please, please, just put on one of his albums while you make out with your probably uber-hot girlfriend. Id rather not hear his influences forced into noodley wankery. And thats how the EP closes, just as it started.

If you are in search of the next big self-deemed SexyRockFunkSoulJamBand, then heres your ticket, not mine.

Go buy the new Gun Club reissues for some real soul.

Thanks.

-Chaz Martenstein
12/6/04

This album can be purchased at The Licks Official Website

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