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Velcro Mary

 

 

Whirlwind Heat: Do Rabbits Wonder?
[Third Man/V2] 

this is a good day to lie I lifted that from the first track of The Whirlwind Heats debut album Do Rabbits Wonder?  I felt it was totally relevant, seeing as how I would be lying if I told you this record was good.  I would also be lying if I told you that you should buy it just because it was produced by Jack White.  If you dont know who he is, just trust me do something good in your life for once, and dont ever listen to this record.

There are some things I can say without lying.  The Whirlwind Heat hails from Michigan.  They fashioned their name after the Raymond Pettibon artwork that graces the cover of Sonic Youths 1990 album Goo, and this debut album is released on Jack Whites very own Third Man imprint via V2 Records.  And that are where any similarities that you thought Whirlwind Heat would have to The White Stripes end quite abruptly.  This is only good if you loathe The White Stripes and all that they do musically. 

I am confident that no one ever would have offered these boys a record deal.  I rest easy knowing that the only reason they are getting any positive praise is because of their affiliation with The Stripes.  I cannot imagine why anyone would voluntarily listen to this garbage.  The only promising thing that they have going for them are the wicked, hot bass lines courtesy of Steve Damstra.  For each song I listened to on this record, all excruciatingly deafening 13 of them it was the only thing that saved me from complete madness.

And what is with the song titles? They are all the named after colors.  I can imagine that Brad Holland (drums), David Swanson (vocals & moog that is an entirely different issue) and the aforementioned bass king, Steve, thought it would be terribly weird or visionary of them to name their songs different colors.  I am grateful I wasnt around for that conversation it reeks of lets be different just for the sake of being different but its not different.  It lacks any insight into any of the songs. I dont need song titles so I know the words to the chorus, I kinda count on them to walk me through the record; they make a girl feel good.  Even Bloody Ear Inducing Noise Workshop 1 through 13 would have been great.  In fact, it would have been totally flipped out had they made the entire album one long-ass track wait, I like that idea, and I am quite sure it has been done before.

As I listen to a couple of tracks one last time to finish up this exhaustive time in my life spent trying to review this record, I am left with one final quote, which I again take from the first track, the vibrantly titled Orange

"  this is a good day to cry.

-Brenna Krause
6/9/03

This album can be purchased at Amazon, Insound, and CD Universe

Whirlwind Heat Official Website

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